Release the Positive Energy

About a month or so ago, I wasn't getting any of the sleep that I needed.  My husband was working the overnight shift at work for 7-8 nights in a row and my daughter was in a stage where she was only napping day and night.  As soon as I would go in to go to sleep, she would wake up and be awake for a few hours.  It wasn't the awake that she had to go and play or anything.  It was just that she wanted to be held and was completely content with me sitting in her rocking chair holding her.  She wouldn't fall asleep in my arms, just lay there with her head on my chest and look into the darkness.  It was comfortable, but not comfortable enough to fall asleep.

Every time I would try to lay her back down, she would cry.  I let her cry for a few minutes at a time, but that was too much for me to handle.  I was going crazy!  Her cry now gives me anxiety.  I was constantly crying and had an extremely short fuse.  Everything set me off, and I hated it.  I knew how I was reacting to things, and I knew why, but I couldn't help myself.  I needed sleep!

Some mornings my husband would come home and take care of our daughter so I could get a couple hours more sleep.  On those days, I noticed I did feel better.  One night, before my husband went to work, we got into a huge fight.  It left me in tears as he walked out the door because not only did we say hurtful things to each other, I knew it was me that brought it on and I wanted so bad to change that, and didn't know how.  After putting my daughter to bed that night, I knew I wasn't going to have much time before she woke up again, so I hurried and got on the computer to search how to release the negative energy I was feeling.

I found a few different ways, but none of which sounded like they would work for me.  One was to write down all negative thoughts on a piece of paper and afterward burn it, essentially burning away all the negativity.  Another was to get a washable marker and get in the shower, write all of your negative thoughts on the shower wall and wash it drown the drain with the water.  While they seemed like they might work, I didn't try them.  I thought, negatively of course, that it wasn't going to help because those negative thoughts would still be on my mind.  I just went to sleep instead and had more negative thoughts the second I was awaken by a screaming baby.

I've since gotten more sleep due to the fact that my husband came home from working nights and had a few days off, and my daughter is now starting to sleep through the night again.  I also started listening to and watching The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, and am changing the way and what I'm thinking about.  Although, I do still get some negative thoughts every now and then, but I have finally found a release that works for me.

                                         

I do not want to say that I am releasing the negative energy, because I would rather release the positive energy into the universe.  I'm rather changing the frequency of my thoughts from negative to positive.  My release, or way to change the channel, is to get in the shower.  I know that sounds strange, but it's what I have found that helps and it's the only thing that helps right now.  I have a daughter who climbs all over me, cries and wants my full attention all the time.  I have a dog who is actually the same way as my daughter!  I also have a husband who needs my attention and communication as well.  I have a messy house that we haven't completely moved in to and an empty fridge the needs to be filled.  All of these things need my attention and I feel like the only time I get to myself and give myself the attention that I  need, is in the small, quiet space of my shower.  It's not the shower that I dream of, but when I am in there I let the water run over me and I close my eyes to picture the shower that I want, and will have some day.  The feel of the hot water running over me allows me to change the frequency of my thoughts and to essentially "release" the now positive energy into the universe.  I am able to focus on what I'm thinking enough to change thinking of what I do not want, to thinking of what I do want.  I am able to fully feel the gratitude of having those things already and thank the universe for delivering.

That may sound strange to some.  If I would have heard this from someone even two months ago, I probably would have rolled my eyes and laugh.  But here I am now doing it, and I'm so grateful that I finally found something that works for me to change my entire day and life.

This post isn't just about the shower that helps me feel better, but more about the change in thoughts that I release to the universe.  What do you do to change how you're thinking and feeling?  What do you do to give yourself a break and a "release"?